Friday night was fun until the end. I just started getting all these thoughts in my head and wanted to leave. Except I didn't want to be rude and say I wanted to go. So I waited for a while and then finally said I was ready. I got back to the dorm and Greg came over to hang out for a while. We had a really good long conversation. It felt good to be able to talk to somebody and have them understand what you are going through. Thanks Boy Genius =p I finally fell asleep around 7am. Didn't wake up till about 6pm. =/ Anyways, yeah me and greg noticed something. We treat each other like brother and sister. Should I feel lucky to have a brother like figure like greg, uhm NO. Jk. =p
Yeah so as for as saturday goes I really didn't do anything much. I was gonna go out but decided to stay in. I started watching The Notebook but I couldn't finish it. It just kept bringing back too many painful memories. I caught myself just staring outside my window remembering so many good times. Okay, I need to stop. Next subject.
So it's Sunday now. I woke up around 3pm. Yeah this needs to stop as well. Good sleeping schedule starts today. And I mean it. I plan to go to bed by at least by 1am. I hadn't gone to bed until like 5am last night. I went upstairs to chill with greg for a while. I was starving. Surprisingly, I ate some Chinese food. I started getting use to it a little. But don't think that I will ever suggest eating chinese food. that will never happen.
I fell asleep listening to the sweetest songs. I don't know whether I want to keep having the memories or just put them behind me. At least when i think of all the good times I am smiling rather than just feeling empty. I had to clear my mind so i went to the rec and played about 5 pick up games. I hit a few good shots. I need to go everday this week and keep playing since my tournament is only 6 days away. OOOOH HOW EXCITING!!!!!!! =)
Well, now i am at clares. i came to eat dinner over here. It was good. Now i am about to take a shower and just relax. I am pretty tired so chances are I will fall asleep early for sure. I know i said i didn't wake up till about 3, but i couldn't really fall asleep. I kept having nightmares and thinking about all sorts of things. Stupid nightmare. It had me scared half to death. I even locked my door. For people who know me, you know i harldy ever lock it. I stayed laying there with my eyes open too scared to shut them. I didn't want to continue that nightmare. It felt too real. I even had tears in my eyes. It sucks that I had no one to call or anyone to talk to. =( But anyways, that's just the way things are now. I hope i sleep better tonight.
Yeah so as for as saturday goes I really didn't do anything much. I was gonna go out but decided to stay in. I started watching The Notebook but I couldn't finish it. It just kept bringing back too many painful memories. I caught myself just staring outside my window remembering so many good times. Okay, I need to stop. Next subject.
So it's Sunday now. I woke up around 3pm. Yeah this needs to stop as well. Good sleeping schedule starts today. And I mean it. I plan to go to bed by at least by 1am. I hadn't gone to bed until like 5am last night. I went upstairs to chill with greg for a while. I was starving. Surprisingly, I ate some Chinese food. I started getting use to it a little. But don't think that I will ever suggest eating chinese food. that will never happen.
I fell asleep listening to the sweetest songs. I don't know whether I want to keep having the memories or just put them behind me. At least when i think of all the good times I am smiling rather than just feeling empty. I had to clear my mind so i went to the rec and played about 5 pick up games. I hit a few good shots. I need to go everday this week and keep playing since my tournament is only 6 days away. OOOOH HOW EXCITING!!!!!!! =)
Well, now i am at clares. i came to eat dinner over here. It was good. Now i am about to take a shower and just relax. I am pretty tired so chances are I will fall asleep early for sure. I know i said i didn't wake up till about 3, but i couldn't really fall asleep. I kept having nightmares and thinking about all sorts of things. Stupid nightmare. It had me scared half to death. I even locked my door. For people who know me, you know i harldy ever lock it. I stayed laying there with my eyes open too scared to shut them. I didn't want to continue that nightmare. It felt too real. I even had tears in my eyes. It sucks that I had no one to call or anyone to talk to. =( But anyways, that's just the way things are now. I hope i sleep better tonight.
posted by btefulsmile at 8:52 PM
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