I noticed that there is a lot I didn't know about my family history. It's pretty interesting. I loved just listening to the stories and learning about my great grandparents and grandparents. I hope I get to learn more soon. I went to see my abuelos this morning. I love seeing my grandma. I can just talk in spanish with her forever. Lately I have been listening a lot to my tejano music again. Enjoying singing. Everyone remembers me singing at the restaurant and at the anniversary party, at my abuela's birthday. I miss that. They always ask why I didn't pursue singing. I wish I could've, but my stupid fear just got in the way. At least I can still sing to myself and my family. =) It's funny because I know I am always arguing with somebody about me not being mexican. But my grandma is mexican and I just love listening to her and what she has to say. I might not really be a mexican because i wasn't born in mexico but I must remember that I do come from a family of mexicans. Their lives have been so hard all their lives. I went to see my uncle yesterday (my mom's brother) and he made me feel really good. I have three cousins who have or are about to have babies. They are all a year younger than me. And he just looked at me and said he was so proud of me and that I was very smart and that I needed to get my education because not everyone has that opportunity. Especially coming from a mexican heritage. I would be the first in my family to get a college education. There are only two out of about 10 cousins that don't have babies and I am glad I am one of them. I have made a lot of stupid mistakes this past year and I know I have been given a second chance. I can't mess it up. I WONT. I have to make my family proud. I couldn't believe the things I learned. My mom and her siblings used to have to travel to california to work just to get food for their family. My mom's dad was a horrible man who treated my abuela like crap and even hit her. He had mistresses everywhere. He supposedly had almost like 20 kids. Six with my abuela, about 7 with his first wife, maybe like 5 with his second wife, and who knows how many with other mistresses. There is so much I can say, but I'll save it for another time. All my life I have grown up through a lot of hard times, but I am glad because that just made me stronger. I have lived without electrcity sometimes, I have lived without having food for a couple weeks, without hot water for about 3 years, and so much more. I mean wow, when I think about my life I can't believe it. This is the all the motivation I need to keep pushing me to work harder.



Como vives en el cielo,
vives en nuestro corazones
(Te amo abuela)