Today started off alright. I went to the mall with my parents and we just looked around. Talked about different things. Turns out they are making an $11 million theatre in laredo. Crazy. I think it's suppose to have like 14 rooms or something like that. We then went to pick up Jeannie and went to walk around Target. I had been craving tapioca so I dropped my parents off and picked up Matt and Marlene so that we could go get some. We had to hurry though because we were going to church at 5:30pm. After church we came back to the dorm for a while and then went over to Clare's to decide what we were gonna eat. We decided on Mexican food. I had dropped Matt and Marlene off earlier before church so we went to pick them up again so that they could go eat with us. I was really praying for a good time. That's all I wanted was for everyone to enjoy themselves and have fun. Instead it was a time of silence, stress, headaches, insecurity, and tension. I can't even completely explain the feelings I was having or even describe the scenario i was in. I got really sick at one point and just had to get up and get away from everything. I could feel the tears just begging to come out, but there was no way I was gonna set them free. I started wishing that I could just disappear. Get away from everything and everyone. The feeling of loneliness was definitely on me tonight, still is. I hate it when I feel like I have no one to go to. When there is just nothing but suffocation going on. No one to help me out or tell me that I will get through this. NOBODY!!!!