There are soooo many things that I had running through my mind that I just wanted to let out these past few days. Now I am here able to write and my mind is blank at points and filled with too much at others. When I left College Station on thursday there were so many things that stuck to me that I just didn't know what to do. The trip back to my brothers was about 3 hours. Not that bad. I am glad I got to spend those couple of days with my nephews. I missed them so much. They have grown up so fast and they are soooo adorable. I love kids especially my babies =) I spent time with my sister in law and the kids while my brother was at work. He has the cuties puppies, sadly one got runned over yesterday =( She was so cute too. How sad. Well, my brother brought me home on saturday and the trip seemed like it was taking forever. I think it was just that I really hated being on the road at most points because I kept having this thought in my head that kept bothering me. I just wanted it to go away. We unloaded all my stuff and I just hung out with the family. Couldn't sleep that one night. Too busy thinking about the future. The next day I was woken up around 10 am thanks to my lovely sister who seems to be an early bird now. Sucks for me seeing as how I am staying in her room for these next few weeks. Of course my daddy made me breakfast seeing as how it was my first day back. Oh well, I can't really sum up the days that much because i have something truly bothering me right now. My mind is just filled with painful thoughts and sad memories. But that's life right. You can't always get what you dream of. I am fine though. I need to learn how to be tough again. I just keep trying to remember how before i didn't let anything get to me. It's seems as if these past couple of months I have being trying too hard to become the person I used to be when in reality i just figured i can't go back to that person. All I can do is make myself a better person now. I have slowly been doing better but it's going to be a looonnnggg and challenging process. I need to cut certain things, people, habits, memories, feelings out of my life. As much as it hurts and kills me inside it's just something that I have to do.




Why did it take so much for me to realize what I had to do?