I don't know why, but lately I've been having recurring thoughts of the past. The past that I wish would just disappear. I hate those images. I realized though that it plays a huge part in why I don't want to be home this summer. I feel ashamed. I don't even want to be around my family. Especially because of something else also. I think I have proven to be a complete failure to them. =( I am gonna hate these actions that I am taking but I don't know what else to do. Nothing is going right. I might as well just let it go. Let everthing go. All I have in my mind right now is quitting which sux because i always told myself I wasn't a quitter. I guess nothing is ever as it seems. I am in a phase right now where I don't want to speak to anybody or see anybody. That's why I am doing some of these things. I am sorry. But I guess the time has finally come to just go away for a while. I am not good company and I don't want to deal with anything.