Today started off really bad. In fact, I was in a bad mood all the way up until the rec. I still didn't feel in the mood to talk to anybody, but I acted like I was okay. Then I came back to the dorm around 6:15. I relaxed, took a shower, and then went to probate with Matt. It was amazing. I mean I absolutely loved it. I definitely want to go to one of those again. Afterwards, Me and Matt came back to the commons to play some pool. I didn't play that good, but then again I haven't played good in a long while so I can't really complain. Now I am back in my room just relaxing. I thought I had a paper due, but now that I think about it I don't. My notes are at Clare's house so that sux beause now I can't study for animal nutrition. Oh well, I guess I just have to put in a couple of more hours of studying tomorrow. I am really glad this day has gotten a slight bit better. I am definitely going to be sore again tomorrow since I did weights today. My arms are going to be killing me. =( Oh well, i needed to work out. I will probably focus on just basketball tomorrow afternoon. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. I won't get my usual nap. =( I have to go to my first class, go talk to my math prof, come back and change for kickboxing, go to class, work out, come take a shower, and then start studying.

Today has also been one of those days where i just can't stop thinking about all sorts of things. I have caught myself lost in a thought more than five times already. So many questions. Different options. Different paths. I never know what road to take. It's like somebody just picked me up and through me in this maze where I am stuck and I can't figure out how to get out. Every turn I take there is something there to stop me. A challenge or some sort of obstacle. Something that prevents me from going on. It pushes me down, scares me, and makes me want to quit. Quitting is not a choice for me though. I have to keep fighting it. This is just a phase and I have to keep telling myself that. Somewhere along the way God will send me an angel to help me out. To show me a light in this horrible darkness. Why do I feel so alone lately? I feel like no one is there to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay. I think that's what hurts the most. This emptiness. This feeling of being left alone and not being cared about.