I know this is the beginning of a long and hard process, but what else can I do? I felt this way for too long and sometimes you just have to trust in faith and believe that everything will turn out okay. You can't just keep living your life dreaming and hoping that your one wish will come true. If it's meant to happen than it will. At least that's what I believe. I have been through my fair share of hard obstacles and I am still standing. I have to look at that and see that I am a strong human being and as long as i believe I can accomplish anything. The only thing I want to focus on right now is school and work. I am too scared for anything else. This past year sent me through a rollercoaster that at times was fun but at other points was scary as hell. The pain wont go away. No matter how hard I try but I must learn to live with it. I must value what I have and not wish for more. That's just being selfish. I know there are tons of things wrong with me and that's what failed, or in other terms just wasn't enough for a lot of things. People are always trying to change. I know I have tried it numerous times. And here I go with another attempt. Hopefully, there will be a better outcome to this change. Both physically and mentally. And then maybe I will be just ENOUGH for this crazy world thats built for both pain and happiness.....




"I don't know what it is that you've done to me
But it's caused me to act in such a crazy way
Whatever it is that you do when you do what you're doing
It's a feeling that I want to stay
'Cuz my heart starts beating triple time
With thoughts of lovin' you on my mind
I can't figure out just what to do
When the cause and cure is you"

I wish someone could just tell me what the future holds or what I need to do and what possiblities stand before me...