I got up, took a shower, and left. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't care where I would end up. I went for a long ass walk and just questioned why I was here. Why do I even exist? Well, i guess didn't make of the best choices afterwards because I called an old friend who I knew would hook me up with some stuff so I went to her apartment, smoked a few cigarettes, had a beer and just chilled. Then I was like what the fuck am I doing. Then I had to call my general advisor to talk to him about everything and he said he needed to see me right away so I went over there. We discussed a lot and looked at all my options of what to do. looks like i have a lot of serious decisions to make about what I want to do. I called Constance to come meet me so that I wouldn't be alone. I ended up where I never thought I would. At church. I talked to someone there and they helped me out a lot. Then I went inside the chapel and just prayed. Asked God to give me his strength and to come back into my life. I need him so much. I don't believe I deserve his hope though. After everything I have done. What am I thinking? I am so lost right now......