What is it about the word no that people don't understand?

The feeling is back and I am trying so hard to make it disappear. There really is nothing I can do. Just lay here and try to clear my mind. Try to erase the pictures and memories that keep replaying in my head. I need to stay away from everything and everyone. At least while I am like this. Hopefully tomorrow I will feel better. The feeling will be gone and then I can remember to move on. It seems every time I think it's finally going away it comes back like 10 times harder. Making sure I don't forget. Reminding me of every detail that has stayed in my mind. The tears are running down my face. A part of me wants someone here to comfort me. To tell me I am okay. But the other part knows I should stay away. I don't want others to see me like this. They shouldn't have to worry. It's already going to be a year since it happened. I survived this long and I will continue surviving. In my heart I know I will be fine. It's just gonna take time.