You can't always have what you want.....

God these past couple of weeks have been so crazy. I am so lost and confused. I just want things to be back to the way they were. I have so many thoughts going through my mind. Whether I follow through with them or not is the real problem. I'd give anything to take it back. I really would. I am sooo sorry. I can't even explain the amount of pain I feel from all this. I hurt myself. I know that I am the reason for all this.

It seems like just talking to Curtis makes all the pain go away at that time. But then I hang up the phone and it all comes back......I love him so much, God I need to get my life straightened out.