I don't know what was the best part of my day:

• waking up to a beautiful morning and gettin things taken care of
• gettin my exam over with
• doin wut i love to do most now and days
• pissing off my ex love
• talking to my babe
• chillin with my homegurl
• having a good meal

So many good times today =)

Once again things are alright.

I wont get my hopes up.
I won't let my guard down.
I wont give my heart away so easily.

I will have fun.
I will enjoy all the good moments.
I will leave a lil room to maybe let someone else in...

I can't help but be paranoid and expect something to go wrong. Is it bad to think like that? I mean or is good to be so cautious about everything. So far things are good but how many times can i remember saying that same thing with the past ones. I just have to stay cool and not expect something. Fate's gotta take it's course, with me not interrupting.....

Man I can't believe how much i've changed lately. Well actually how much i've changed since last semester. there are times when i'm just like who is this person. I mean i am not complaining just kinda freakin out. oh well, anyways it's friday and instead of chillin already at this time i actually decided to come to the scc for a while to do some work. surpise right!! don't get me wrong i have been doin alright in school but it's just not like me to actually come and do work. I need to raise my grades, i don't care how hard i have to work, i gotta do it.

Last night was cool. We all went out to eat at Cheddar's for Andrea's birthday. then we all went to her apartment for the get together. I was so out of it. my body was tired but once i got a lil alcohol in me i was good. i was proud of myself though because instead of staying and getting drunk and probably doin something crazy i decided to go home early. Rose Annie took me home and i went straight to bed. I love partyin with the gurls. I love them, tons of fun!!!!! =D I don't know what i got planned for this weekend. i was suppose to go with Claudia to San Antonio but I'm broke =( so i decided to stay. I'm probably gonna go to the rec in a sec and meet up with the guys to play some ball. Hopefully i go out tonight, i'm kind of in the mood unless something else happens.....

this should be an interesting night!!!!!

love is so crazy. you can't help but wonder if you'll ever truly find that right person. they say you have to go through so many heart breaks before you find happiness but i just don't know if i can handle it. this last relationship ruined my hope for ever finding that special someone. i just don't know anymore. i spent half my day crying after i found out the news. i mean i just don't understand. how can you say one thing and just do the opposite. i don't think i'll ever truly understand what went wrong. we felt so right. everything was perfect. he was the one and now i know i've lost him for good. i shouldn't even care because deep down inside i know i deserve better. if there is better..... maybe i should just give up. i already don't trust guys. i just can't let myself go. i've put a lock on my heart and thrown away the key. i don't want to get hurt again. that shit was too painful. i rather be alone then feel that pain. they don't lie when they feel like it's a thousand stabs in the heart. please just let me be happy. i'm so tired of hurting. so tired of feeling this pain inside. and definitely tired of crying.

Things are still the same. Not much to report. I think lately I've just been trying to see what's good and bad in my life. I need to stay focused on what's important. As far as the love life goes I am just too caught up to know what I want. I rather just leave things the way they are. School is gonna be crazy this week. I have two exams that I am soooo terrified of. Please pray for me!!! I am excited about wednesday though cuz i have my first intramural game. So ready to kick some ass =) My parents might actually be coming up this weekend so that'll be cool. I really hope they do, it would completely make my weekend. I miss them tons. I am loving my new apt. It feels so good to finally have my privacy and not be surrounded by drama. Well at least not so much drama, I still have some. I need to get some furniture though, but that'll have to wait till I get back on my feet.

Last night was crazy. It's like all day long I had this one certain thing on my mind and i didn't know what to do about it so I asked God to send me a sign. Surprisingly my sign happened and i was speechless. It's like I am still confused but then again I got the sign I wanted so I really can't question it. Still I can't help but wonder if it's really meant to be or not......