These past few days have been so hectic. As far as work and school go it's been wearing me out. I feel so exhausted all the time. I wake up at 6am, study, shower, go to school, go to work, and then either study or go to my other job. I had such a bad day on thursday. Nothing was going right. I kept running late to my jobs, I couldn't get my check, my phone kept messing up, i went most of the day without eating so you know i get in an even worse mood when I haven't eaten, there were other things too but uh i rather not remember. Anyways, everything has been so crazy with this whole hurricane rita deal. I am just calm. I don't see why there is any reason to worry. I have so much stuff to do for school. I know this week is gonna be even crazier then last week. Oh well that's life. I really can't complain about anything though. I am still happier than ever. Things are still absolutely wonderful with me and curtis so that's good. I swear though it seems like just hearing his voice makes everything better. I always want to call him just so that I can feel good and smile and enjoy my day. I really love every moment with him. I can't wait to be with him later on today. That's what I am looking forward to. Just being with him. =) Thank you God for everything. I really do feel blessed!!!!!!!!

Last night was amazing. OMG!!!!! words wouldn't even be able to describe it. but yea, just thought i would throw that one in there. lol.

Okay here is a quick summary cuz i am completely exhausted and ready to throw myself on my bed.

• I am completely and totally in love =)
• School is great
• I love my jobs. I get a long really well with my boss and my co-workers.
  
• I am completely exhausted. Sometimes you just gotta do what you have to do. I know full time student, two jobs sounds like a lot, and it is, but my motivation is: graduate, save up money, and continue my life with my baby out of texas!!!!!
  
• I read seven chapters this morning. Surprisingly that actually puts me ahead in one of my classes, now i need to catch up on the rest.
  
• I went to Curtis's sisters house and spent time with her, her family, his other sister, and his mom. I had lots of fun and they are all such wonderful people. I can't wait to get a chance to be with them again. I really miss Curtis though. I wish he would've been there, but of course he had to work. =( oh well, i will have him to myself this weekend, at least that's the plan. hopefully it will come true. *fingers crossed*
• The most beautiful thing in life is finding your soul mate and knowing that they are the one you were meant to be with. They are your blessing from God. Your world, your life, your everything. You know this is true when every decision, every thought, includes them. When they never leave your mind for not even a second. When you miss them tremendously and they've only been gone five minutes. When you hold your phone and are just anticipating it to ring and for it to be him. When you put their life ahead of yours. When nothing else matters but them. When all you care about is their happiness even if it means you getting hurt. When you pray for them more than you do for yourself. They are your blessing from God and you must cherish them. That is exactly the way I feel about Curtis. I was talking to his mom and she told me how Curtis is always saying that I am so sweet and I told her that he treats me so well and that he is my blessing from God. Everyone knows that Curtis and I love each other more than anything and that we want nothing more than to be together. I loved being able to talk to his mom. I love being able to be free with how I feel. I love knowing that I have found my partner for life, to me this means everything and it just makes waking up every morning just so much better. Especially when he is right by my side........I love you baby!!!
  

Well for all my friends you know i had a really bad night saturday but yea I just want to forget about that. Yesterday was alright it got better around 3am. Curtis came over and we had a loonnngg talk which I really enjoyed. It felt good just to sit and talk. I loved every second and didn't want the night to end. I love him sooo much I am so happy that everything is okay again. Now I can relax and smile again. =)

I have tons to do today. Hopefully i can get it all done. And yet somehow i still found time to write, crazy i know. But yea. I better get goin. Looks like I'll be on campus pretty much the whole day.


True love conquers all......

I cannot wait till tonight. I just wanna see my baby and not let go of him. I want to enjoy every second with him. treasure every moment!!!! The gurls and I are gonna go to the party and my baby and his cuz are gonna meet us there. Brandy, Adriana, and I are gonna chill here at the apt and drink before and then take off with Ashley and Elishia. This should be a goodnight, especially when I get Curtis all to myself =p. Haha, anyways today has been really good. i got my job back at Foley's and they said they were really happy to have me back, so that's cool. Then Adriana came over and we got to talk and hang out. It was cool catching up and all. Now I shall get ready so I can look absolutely beautiful for my baby. =)

Yesterday wasn't such a bad day, if you don't count all the throwing up and nausea and dizzyness but yea anyways, I went to Foley's to see if I could get a job there again and well my old boss was there and said to talk to Marie (main person to hire people) because there were a couple positions open. She made me feel so good cuz she was all happy to see me and at the fact that I wanted to work there again =). Well Marie called me later and said she had two positions opened and that they wanted to hire someone who had worked for them before and we talked and it looks like everything turned out good. I have to go meet her right now to take care of the schedule and paper work. Another good thing is that I had an interview for a student worker position on thursday and it looks like that went well too. I have to go take all my paper work in on monday so they can get everything together. Wow a full time student and two jobs. That's gonna take a lot out of me. But i am proud of myself. I am doing what I know needs to be done. =) I miss my baby soooo much. I met his mom yesterday, she was so nice and sweet. Curtis said that she told him I was absolutely gorgeous, ahh how cute, totally blushing, haha. But yea, my baby worked all day yesterday then they turned off his phone around 8pm so I haven't talked to him since before then. I miss him tons. I just want to here his voice right now. He works from 7am-7pm today. But he should be coming tonight so hopefully he does and we can enjoy a whole night together. =) Well I better go. Gotta make that money!!!!

I just love hearing the words, "you really are in love", they put a huge smile on my face. I guess I really make it that obvious or the people who know me very well can just tell the difference in me. =) These past few days have been a little hectic but good. It's had it's fair amount of good and bad moments. The bad part is the fact that I have a stomach virus and can't keep anything in =( the good thing or parts is when I am with my baby. I feel like I haven't seen him in a while even though it's only been like a day and a half, but it feels like an eternity. I can't wait to see him again. He's finally getting a car so that totally brighten ups my day. I am suppose to be in bed right now but I have to do a few things and then work at 2:30. I feel so horrible though. My stomach is killing me. But hey I need the money so I gotta toughen up and just take the pain. Things should start getting even better by next week so I am looking forward to that. Oh well, I gotta go.

It feels so much longer than a month.....=)
This month has been the best month of my life, thanks to my baby, i love you sweetie =)

Today it's been a little more difficult for me to smile then most days. Mainly because I hate being away from Curtis for so long. I wont even get to see him today. I got to see him yesterday, he brought his daughter over so I could spend time with her. What a beautiful surprise =) The only bad thing was that he had to leave so soon. I got in a really bad mood yesterday because i hated his job hours and the fact that we only get to see each other for a while now. But he calmed me down and made me feel better. As soon as he gets a car I'll see him a lot more. I just gotta be patient. I love him sooo much and I treasure every moment I am with him. His voice is sooo soothing and I know I am okay when I talk to him.

I've really been surprising myself and all my friends lately. How? well by the mere fact that I am always studying now. Crazy huh. I think this past month I have really matured. As far as taking care of things and being more responsible in school. I studied on sat. from like 5-2:30am. Then i studied pretty much all day sunday except for a short break that i took at night time. I had fun last night with the gurls. I hope I get to spend more time with them. Of course though my baby never left my mind. He had to work from 7pm-7am and today he works from 3pm-3am. ugh, breathe, i know everything will be okay. Anyways, i have a lot of stuff i need to take care of, I am already feeling stressed, so I better get to it.

The days without you are so long and sad, but all it takes is one thought of us and the fact that I know we love each other and suddenly a smile will come upon my face =)

An Angel

You were a gift sent from up above
Sent to complete my life, my soul, my every being
Everything about you is so amazing
And I thank God that he sent you to me

The best things in life are free
I now know that that's true
You've taken my breath away
And I want nothing more than to spend my life with you

You make me feel so special
So loved and wanted
So incredibly wonderful
And I once again thank God for sending me an Angel



I woke up to my phone ringing this morning, to my baby's ringtone. It was 5:40am and I am thinking what's goin on. I was having the most precious dream about him, and it was about to come true. =) He asked me where I wanted him to be and I said " I want you right next to me" and then he said "come open the door". I jumped off my bed and ran to the door and to my surprise he wasn't there. I had gotten too excited that I hung up the phone before letting him tell me that he would be here in about 20 minutes. haha. I just couldn't wait to see him and I was sooo excited. I was goin crazy without seeing him. So I waited and waited and finally he was here. I know my face lit up and I just hugged him and did not want him to let me go. I missed him so much and it felt really good to have him hold me again. I hurt my ankle trying to run but it's okay haha it was worth it. We had three hours to be together before we had to once again depart. =( but we made the best of it and I loved every moment. He held me the whole time and showed me how much he loved me and I just wanted to freeze time. I didn't want to hear the alarm go off. I didn't want to go to class. I didn't want him to leave. Unfortunately, that time came and I had to get ready for class. I laid there next to him for a few more minutes just staring at him and admiring everything about him. He is sooooo gorgeous, haha, and sweet and loving and kind and so incredibly wonderful. I hate that I won't see him tonight but he'll be here tomorrow and I will have him all to myself =) I love how now when I talk to my mother she always asks about him and how him and her are always saying hi to each other now. That means so much to me. I sit here and I just think "wow, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world right now". I just truly can't explain it. As much as I want to I can't. I try so hard to just express every feeling I have. Every emotion that arises in me, but then I think just leave it alone and let things be. Let our love grow even stronger than it is. I was talking to some of my friends the other day about how we just know the moment that we meet that special guy that he is "the one". The one guy we want to be with for the rest of our lives. The one guy that is everything. The one we want to share every moment of our lives with. It's just an incredible feeling that shows us not to question anything but to enjoy the gift that God has sent us. It defnitely should not be taken for granted because not everyone is so lucky to share the luxury of having the love of their life with them. I cherish every moment with Curtis and am just absolutely grateful to have someone so special in my life. =)

Today has started off perfectly. =)

Today has been a loonnnggg day. I am really not that tired and it's already late but that's what I get for taking a nap. I am really proud of myself because I read 80 pages in a couple of hours. I needed to read that for my class and I actually did it, wow, that just shows that I am dedicated this year =) But hey when everything is goin good in your life you just want to keep it that way. I talked to my baby for a good while. I miss him tons. He's coming to CS in the morning so I am praying that I get to see him. *crosses fingers* I also got a surprise IM tonight from an old friend that I thought would never talk to me again but I am glad she did. I missed her friendship and her crazy self. LOL. And the fact that she is usually the only person to ever understand what I say. haha. but yea hopefully she can come chill tomorrow!!! I guess I should get some sleep. I only have one class tomorrow which is cool, and then Christina (my roommate) is gonna take me to pick up my check and then we are gonna go to the mall. I haven't decided if I am going to buy anything yet. I'll make that decision while I am there tomorrow =p Alright, well lately I have been enjoying my dreams so I think I will go to sleep now. =)

I miss my babe =(

I used to think my sister was crazy when she said she missed her fiance and he was only gone for like 5-10 minutes. Now I know how she feels. I hate being away from him for just that short time and right now I am sooo sad cuz I haven't seen him since Tuesday and that was only for a short while. I won't even get to see him today =( I miss him sooo much. I can't even explain it. I've probably talked to him the majority of the day everyday, but still it's his presence, his smile, his arms, his kisses, it's everything that I miss. I love every moment I talk to him on the phone, I just light up when I hear his ringtone on my phone. I can talk to him forever. Last night I was so sleepy but I just didn't want to hang up the phone. We were talking today about where we wanted to go after I graduate, such a coincedence that the love of my life doesn't want to stay in texas either. I have known since high school that after I graduated from college I was leaving out of state. I don't know where yet, but we'll figure it out. We still got a couple of years. All I do know is that he is the one. I can picture my future with him. He means absolutely everything to me. I was blessed when I met him =)

Yesterday after my literature class I went to go hang out with Candi. We got something to eat at the commons and just talked about everything. I loved our conversation. We talked about Curtis and me and about how happy I am. haha. She said she hadn't seen me so happy in a loonnnggg time. And that you could just tell by looking at me. I was like yup I am happier than I've ever been. It was definitely love at first sight!!!! She'll get to meet him on Saturday so that's cool. I missed hanging out with my gurl. She's gonna have to come chill at the apt with me sometime ;)

Today has just been a loonngg day. I am so exhausted and my ankle is killing me. I don't know why I've been so tired though. I thought I got a good amount of rest but apparently not. I have been taking short naps all day. Well not all day I took two, lol. but still that's more than usual. Maybe I just rather sleep because at least then I can dream of me and my baby whereas if I am awake all I am doin is missing him like crazy and get all sad. Just a couple of weeks and then hopefully my babe will get a car and he can come be with me all the time. Patience. Gotta have patience. I know I'll be with him for the rest of my life so I just gotta think of that. All I have to do is think about him and a smile comes on.

These past few days have been beautiful as usual. Except for the fact that me and Curtis went to play basketball at the rec on saturday and I ended up spraining my ankle =( Then my baby got in a car wreck and hit his head on the windshield. Not good moments!!! But of course we make each other happy so by night time we just ordered pizza and watched a couple of movies. Those moments were perfect. and if there is no such thing as perfect well it was the closest thing to it. i just loved laying in his arms and knew that i wanted that forever. Normally I hate for people to touch my face but with him i love it. I just cant really explain it. I mean everything is just sooo right. My family is doing good, still a few obstacles they gotta get through, but other wise they are fine, and they all know about curtis so I am happy about that. My mom and sis are the ones I talk to most about him. School is going good also. I already have a test next week so I gotta study my ass off but I think i'll be fine. I've been doin good so far and I am sure I'll continue on. I have to finish cleaning my room when I get home and then get to studying. Curtis's niece Queen is coming today so I'll spend some time with her as well. She is so cute. I have really gotten close to her. She spent the night at my apt on sunday. We played a couple of games, went swimming, went to the game room, and then just watched a movie. =) lots of fun!!! Things are really good I guess that's why I haven't really felt the need to write so much. I have everything I could ask for and am extremely happy. =)

"Love is when you look into someone's eyes, and see everything you need."
- Kristen Kappel -

Everything is good

I had sooo much fun yesterday. I went to my classes which were alright and then came home and just relaxed for a while. Then the cutest part of my day was when I got to see my future stepdaughter =). She is absolutely precious. I couldn't stop looking at her. I was really happy when Curtis brought her over here. She is so tiny. I was a lil nervous when I first held her because I hadn't held a baby that small since my nephew which was like 6 yrs ago. But I did good, at least I think so. Curtis had told me that no one was ever able to feed her except him or sometimes the mom and she actually took the bottle when i gave it to her. That made me so happy. Then I was also able to put her to sleep when usually only curtis is able to do that. That made my day. The whole time I was with them was absolutely wonderful. Afterwards I went with LaRhesa to go buy some things for the people from New Orleans. I mainly got stuff for the babies. I got them food, lotion, shampoo, and also some water. I know it's not a lot but if I had the money I would get them so much more. I also did a little grocery shopping while I was there. I really haven't bought much cuz I am counting on my parents to come visit and buy me groceries. =) at least that's the plan. haha. After that LaRhesa and I chilled in her apt. and played a video game. I got so into that thing it was hilarious. I was screaming and everything. and I was laughing at LaRhesa when she started playing, lol. I didn't think I would get so into it, but it was fun. I enjoyed that. Then my baby came over and we just all chilled there for a while. I spent my time trying to beat the stupid robot thing. Then Curtis and I came back to my room and just messed with the computer. We ordered some pizza and listened to music. Then after a while we decided to go swimming which was so much fun. We played knock out and sadly he beat me every time. Oh no actually i won once so that was cool. haha. We swam for a while and just played around. I love every moment with him, it just feels so right. Then all of sudden he wanted to lift weights so we decided to go. We played a game of pool first and then headed to the weight room. I had an okay workout. I am soo out of shape I really need to work out a lot. My baby is gonna help me get in shape so that's good. Then we came back to the room and just relaxed.

I was talking to LaRhesa yesterday about certain things, you know about just knowing when something is right and how it feels so perfect. I can't explain it. There was just this moment where I was looking at my baby with his daughter and I just got this feeling like he's the one, he's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know it sounds totally crazy, but LaRhesa was like yea she get's that feeling when she looks at Eric. I just kept looking at him and picturing the future and it just brought a huge smile to my face and a feeling of comfort. It was love at first sight with us and I feel so complete and loved with him. There is nothing that could change my mind about being with him. We are so open to each other about everything, honesty and trust is there, we can tell how much we care about one another, and our families are really happy about us. I love everything about him. Lately I have been feeling really secure about us. Like before I was scared that he was going to leave me or hurt me, but now I am not scared. All there is when it comes to him is happiness and joy.