I am feeling a lot better now. I don't know what was wrong with me. I felt so sick like I couldn't even get out of bed. I was dizzy, weak, nauseated. It felt horrible. But now I am okay. It's time for me to get some studying done since I wont really get the chance to this weekend. We are suppose to leave tomorrow around 4pm. So my guess would be that we'll get there around midnight or so. This whole not eating after eight really sux, i get hungry around 10 or something and all i can do is drink water. But hey if i want to reach my goal i have to do it. I plan to do 300 crunches tonight. lets hope i actually do it.



Te extrano abuela!!!!

Something is very wrong. I can feel it. Please God let me be okay. *crosses fingers* please, please, please

I just had to get out of the house yesterday. I was tired of studying. I went to go hang out with a friend and we just chilled and watched Eurotrip. It was nice to get out of the house for a while. I was really emotional last night though. I don't know why. I had been doin so good i guess it just can't go away that easily. Anyways now of course i gottta get back to doin some work. Then I have to pack and get ready for a nice and fun weekend. =)


Somethings are better off forgotten and left in the past.

This is on behalf of me and my best friend:

Why are guys so freaking stubborn and clueless sometimes? I mean seriously do we have to spell out every word to you in order for you to understand. I mean hello get the hints that we send to you. Or at least understand what we are talking about. If we are on the phone talk, just dont stay there quiet. If we are mentioning small things to you like how come you don't call more, then start calling. I think me and my best friend have just been goin insane cuz of guys lately. It's like men were just put on the earth to drive us crazy. I mean yes they are adorable at times, and we love them soooo much, but sometimes you just don't know what to think.... they are so freakin confusing

You can't live with them and you can't live without them - soooo true

Today has just been another wonderful day. Got up late though, oh well i didn't fall asleep until about 4am. I relaxed for a while and then started working on a few things. You know me I had to watch my show and then I got to doin things for the wedding. I found the song my sister wants for them, i found her hairstyle, my hairstyle, and a few other options for centerpieces. By the time i know the wedding will be here. Thanks to manda and kia for helping me out with things. =) Afterwards I went to work out with my mom at Curves. It was a good work out. I have finally decided to really self discipline myself and get on a strict diet. No pizzas, hamburgers, fries, tortillas, bread, candy, chips, no junk food. And i will not be eating after 8pm. Man this is gonna take a lot of discipline but i think i can do it. I came back took a shower and watched the NBA draft. Looks like Minnesota will have a pretty good team this coming year. YAY for antoine wright. He got chosen by the New Jersey Nets. How exciting. He was the 15th overall pick in the first round. The best ever from A&M. Anywho, after that I helped my mom and sis with the AVON. That was actually a lot of fun. Lots of laughs and joking around. I love those times. Now I must get to work. I don't plan to stay up that late tonight. If i want to watch my weight that will aslo mean getting on a okay sleeping schedule. sleep has a lot to do with it. Oh, well i better get to it.

Talk about an interesting day. It has been good. Nothing to complain about. After i relaxed for a while I got back to studying. I was gettin sooooo sleepy so i went to the store to get me a LARGE cappuccino. Now I am kind of awake. I saw something today that I just couldn't keep in. I had to tell someone. So I called Jeannie and told her the gossip and she kind of freaked out too. That was the last thing I expected to see. Anywho, I really hope they call me from somewhere tomorrow cuz i NEED a job. Things need to start getting together for me. Once I find a job I think everything will be okay.

Such a sad story. There was a 6 year old girl who got murdered here in laredo. Her parents beat her up and sent her to her room and the next morning found her dead. Then they went and threw her body in a bush by the lake. These people are fucking crazy, how can you do that to your little girl. I hope they get what they deserve. They had a ceremony for her on the weekend and the funeral was today. May she rest in peace. Seriously though how can someone be that crazy to kill there own child. Ugh, that pisses me off.

As far as things with my family, things are goin okay. Still some financial problems but we are hanging in there. My sister is goin insane with the whole wedding. She is extremely stressed out. This is where the maid of honor (me) is suppose to come in and take over everything. yea, right. That is too stressful for me especially with school. I am gonna try to do my best though to get as many things taken care of. I am kind of anxious about this weekend. I really think it's gonna turn out to be fun. Unfortunately I wont get to spend it with my friends from high school but the following weekend will be spent with them. =)

Okay time to get back to studyin now.

I am sooooo tired. I just finished walking around at the mall filling out applications. Anyways, today has been good. Had my laughs for today and had a few good conversations with people i hadn't talked to in forever. Ah, and then i felt so loved and special because i ran into Edna's (a best friend from high school)mom and she remembered me and just told me how beautifl and good i looked. =) totally made my day. I talked to her for while and then just kept walking around the mall. I do have to say I am getting use to this hair color. For those of you who haven't seen me my hair is now a light red, to be more specific it's strawberry blonde. Don't get confused my hair is not blonde, its just a light reddish color. Anyways, I am in a very good mood again. =) But the day isn't over yet so I guess it can even get better or worse. I am so hungry right now. I think i will actually cook dinner. I haven't cooked in a long time, let's see how this turns out.

Okay i think it is finally time for me to stop studying. almost like 10 hours of studying. that's insane. i don't know how i lasted. Today has been good though. I am so happy. I have not been able to stop smiling this past hour and i have no clue why. I am not complaining though. I love being in this mood. So many friends just made my day today. Thanks katelyn, you always know what to say to make me feel better. And thanks to someone else for the compliment. I know that defnintely brought a smile to my face. =) and to every single one of my friends for making me feel good. It seems like my friends from high school have already planned my weekend. that should be fun!!! It was fun talking to Greg today. I've missed chatting with him. I missed his sarcasm, haha. It was really funny cuz i made him think i dyed my hair blonde and he was freaking out, now that was hilarious. Thanks Greg for being you =) Oh and on another note, i had my scare today by a little water turtle. yeah i was just sitting studying and all of a sudden i feel something cold crawling on my leg and i jumped up and screamed. My nephew had put it on my leg and i had never even seen him come in the room with the turtle. I know kia and matt got a laugh out of that. and no i am not a chicken i just didn't expect a turtle to be crawling on my leg. Oh well, time to relax now and enjoy my mood and the night. Tomorrow shall be another interesting day. and i do have to say i am very proud of matt for doin such a good job at work =)

I knew that I would have to change a lot of things and start making up for my mistakes, so it doesn't surprise me of things i have started to do. It's just a new beginning and a new path. and i shall be smiling all the way through. =)

Such a good feeling to wake up to breakfast =) that is one of the huge benefits of being back home. Having home cooked breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Yup i am spoiled. lol.

So far things are good. I need to unpack my things, wash clothes, start studying, and a few other things. My mind is going to be caught up with the wedding. So many things to do and such little time.





I should've known. That's all I have to say

I AM FINALLY HOME!!!! and it feels so good.

There is so much to say but I don't know if I should write it all. if i do it probably wont be now. So much has happened. It's been kind of crazy. All I can say is that I have definitely been back and forth on decisions and it's come to the point where I finally have to make the right choices and make up for all my mistakes. There is so much I need to do. I've decided to come back home and spend the rest of the summer here. It's gonna be spent working and studying my ass off. I The past week I did spend the nights writing about my thoughts and how I felt. It feels good to just be able to let out everything. I had a lot of fun with my brother. It was just kind of difficult finding a job and being able to help him and his family while I am still trying to help myself out. I don't regret goin though. I finally have some more good memories with my brother. Well i am pretty sure my day will either be very busy tomorrow or relaxing. I know I will definitely spend at least 3 hours studying though. How fun... Anyways, I hope everything starts going better in my life. I really hope I can make up for all my mistakes. Especially certain ones. I guess only time can tell though.

Some things in life really are taken for granted.

Well I am actually finally leaving today. I know I feel like i've been saying that forever. Things were just so messed up these past two weeks. I am leaving around 5:30. I still feel kind of bad, but it's just something i have to do. I spent last night studying which really sucked because there was so much information. Then I made the cards for the bubbles and the spoons for the wedding. Totally saved my sister money by making them. Aren't I such a good maid of honor. =) Then i spent the rest of the night either singing or reading a magazine. It had a lot of interesting things. I didn't get to finish reading but at least I have something to do on the road now. I woke up and started making a card for my parents. It's their 29th anniversary. Can you believe it 29 years. Wow. Yeah so instead of just going to the store and buying a card I decided to make one on my own. I did a pretty good job. I was impressed. lol. Anyways, now i do have to get my stuff together. Even though i was only home for about a week i unpacked a lot of stuff. =/ oh well, it's not so bad. It shouldn't take me that long.

Then tommorow will be filled with job interviews how fun!!!!
I also get to learn how to drive standard. totally scary. =[
A few days without my computer. completely sux. =(
A week full of studying my ass off. not cool.
tonight I get to watch the spurs. Now that is gonna be fun =)

Aight it's FINALLY time for me to go.


HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MOM AND DAD!!!!!!!!! =)

Just felt like posting what my horoscope says for this month and what is says about cancers:

With the new moon in your sign, you cautious Crabs will shrug off your shells and bust your booties to reach your goals. Whether you work late or make a move on you-know-who, the world will have no choice but to give you what you deserve.

Nurturing and devoted, you crave the comforts of home and familiy. Whatever your fashion sense, you always end up wearing your heart on your sleeve.

Why you're wonderful: You're earthy, passionate, intuitive and imaginative - but you've still got both feet on the ground.

Why you're impossible: When things don't go your way, you get moody, either slinking into your shell or clinging to your pals.

Wow if I think about it, It really does describe me

I am so confused right now. I don't know what I want. I mean I keep thinking about different things. Not my usual thoughts and not the things that usually get me in a bad mood. But other things. Dont really want to explain right now. At least not till i have figured or done some of it. Hmm... I have so much to consider and only a month and a half to do so. I think this time is going to go by fast. A part of me wants it to but the other part doesn't so that I can get all this stuff done. Why do I always have to think about so many things. I feel like these past couple of months I just cant let things be. i feel like I have to take things into my own hands. I control my life and what goes on in it. So what do I do now?

Only a few know what I am going through right now. They have helped me in many ways and I just want to say thank you. I am really lucky to have friends like you all. Unfortunately, I won't have access to a computer for a few days so I wont be able to communicate with some of you all through AIM or through messages. Things happen for a reason right. Well, it looks like God didn't have houston in my plan for right now. There are certain cirumstances of why I am not going but also another reason would be because me and my brother need to help each other right now. We'll be helping each other out tons. Anyways, my phone is working again so if you all need anything you know how to reach me. Love ya all tons, bye bye!!!!


Go spurs!!!! Can't wait for tomorrow to come so I can watch the game. =)

Tonight was pretty cool. I went to shoot pool with Hector for a while. I beat him 3-1 and the only reason i lost was because i scratched on the damn eight ball. Oh well i still had fun. Afterwards I went to chill at Raul's house for a while. i hadn't been there in forever. We got to talking and had a good conversation. We hadn't had one in forever. Then we went to Hectors house to just chill. It was fun. I am glad I got to go out before I leave tomorrow. Not that I am sad I am leaving cuz trust me i am not. The only thing i am sad about is the fact that I wont be around my parents. =( Oh well, i'll get to see them more often then I did during the semester. I am kind of getting excited about goin to stay with my bro. I better get some sleep tomorrow is going to take a lot of energy. Sweet dreams everyone!!!

GO SPURS!!!!! Hell yeah baby, the spurs take the first win in the nba finals. Damn Ginoboli played a good game in the second half. Glenn Robinson had a nice move in the third. Too hard for me to explain. Just trust me when i say it was good. I can't wait till Game 2.

Okay I just had to say that was a damn good intro for the first finals game. I had no idea Will Smith was gonna perform. Damn he's cute. =p Now it's game time. Let's hope the spurs come out with the win!!!!!!

GO SPURS!!!!!!

I don't know why, but lately I've been having recurring thoughts of the past. The past that I wish would just disappear. I hate those images. I realized though that it plays a huge part in why I don't want to be home this summer. I feel ashamed. I don't even want to be around my family. Especially because of something else also. I think I have proven to be a complete failure to them. =( I am gonna hate these actions that I am taking but I don't know what else to do. Nothing is going right. I might as well just let it go. Let everthing go. All I have in my mind right now is quitting which sux because i always told myself I wasn't a quitter. I guess nothing is ever as it seems. I am in a phase right now where I don't want to speak to anybody or see anybody. That's why I am doing some of these things. I am sorry. But I guess the time has finally come to just go away for a while. I am not good company and I don't want to deal with anything.

Ya no se que hacer. Creo que ya es tiempo para olvidar porque ya no puedo hacer nada.


So I woke up this morning to the sounds of three text messages. All which made me smile. =) Even though they woke me up. Anyways, it was a long day as I predicted, nothing good to report unfortunately. Tomorrow I must head to College Station for a meeting. What fun!!! At least hopefully I will get to see Kia. Last night was exactly what I needed. My day had been so frustrating that I just wanted to smile. To laugh once. And someone definitely did make that happen. thank you!!!! It was a nice conversation. I hope to have another one like that soon. =) Now I must study. And think of somethings that I must take care of.



What to do next?

FUCK!!!! I couldn't be in the worst mood right now. I am so frustated. I mean i got a few good things on my mind but the rest just sux. Tomorrow is definitely going to be a long day. But then again all my days have been long this past week. Especially yesterday. I had only gotten two hours of sleep and woke up at 6:30am to get ready to go to houston. We took off like at 8:30 and got there around 11. It didn't take me long to find the galleria. We spent almost 6 hours there. OMG. it was so exhausting. Not that i can completely complain seeing how it's the galleria. I had two interviews on the spot. They both went good. Afterwards we went to do a couple of stuff then headed to College Station. I went to the scc to do some things on the computer then went to take a paper to Marlene. It was nice to see her. I also got to see lindsey and deanna. Then we started are trip back to Cuero. That took forever. We kept getting lost. And then we were running out of gas so we were all worried. Finally around 1am we got there. I totally crashed like 20 minutes after getting there. As for tomorrow, it is definitely going to be a day of frustration and headaches. But i am praying to god that everything goes well. *crosses fingers*



At least I can be happy about one thing....but that should stay my little secret ;)

Okay change of plans. still going but a few things different. I better go. Bye bye

The day has finally come. I will be leaving in the morning to cuero so that I can drop off my stuff and also my parents. Then I shall head to houston to take care of a few things as well as hopefully spend some time with ding. Then I will pick up Derrick and go to cs so that we can all celebrate Kia's birthday. Hopefully me and marlene will be able to get some tapioca. =) We plan to get some so we'll see. Then back to houston to drop off derrick and back to cuero. Man tomorrow is going to be a long ass day. But I am ready for it. =) I won't be on my computer for about a week though so if you all need me just call or text me. Love ya guys. muuuaaahh. bye bye.

Totally cute =) Everything is looking alright. But I will say more in the morning. Right now isn't the time.

Thank God my pain finally started to go away just when the game was starting. It still hasn't completely gone away but I can take the pain. What a wonderful game!!! San Antonio Spurs are the Western Conference Champions. And they deserved it. I can wait for the finals. I really hope they end up playing Miami. I hate detroit and definitely do not want them to get Eastern Conference Champs. Looks like my day wasn't as busy as I thought it was going to be. I had to spend it resting because of my stupid pain. Oh well, looks like I'll just have a lot to do tomorrow. I really should get some sleep but I don't know if I will. I guess I'll just stay up listening to music and trying to beat the stupid spider solitaire game as usual. I better enjoy it now cuz tomorrow we'll be my last day for a while on my computer. =( Things have gotten a lil better. Thank you God!!!! =)


I got something I had been waiting for a while ago and it totally made my day!!!! =) Now if i do fall asleep I know I'll have sweet dreams, at least I hope I will. Sweet Dreams everyone!!! =)

What a day. OMG. I thought it was gonna be a good day even though it was going to be a little stressful, but i was wrong and it's not even over yet. My mom had told me that she was gonna wake me up at 7am and i was really hoping that she was kidding especially since i didn't go to sleep until about 3:30am. The good thing is she didn't wake me up, the bad thing is I got woken up at 5:30am because of the stupid thunderstorm and couldn't go back to sleep =( I got to watch saved by the bell and a couple other shows and finally got an hour nap around 10. It wasn't a good nap though. I was in so much pain. Then I almost went to the hospital because the pain was so bad, but i didn't want to go so I fought it as much as i could. Now I have to go to the doctor tomorrow. I really don't want to know what they are gonna tell me. Ugh, please just let me get some good news today, or at least let something make me feel better.

Okay so these mood swings really need to stop. I am okay now. I just wish I could fall asleep already. Tomorrow is going to be a looonnnggg day.