These first few days have gone pretty well. There is no way I am letting myself get behind this year. I need to work my ass off so I can pull off at least a 3.5, i am aiming for that 4.0 though. Wish me luck!!! Anyways, as always now and days you know I have to write about my love life =), it is absolutely amazing. Since day one Curtis and I have been seeing each other every day, i love that. We went to get him a cell phone yesterday so that he can call me whenever =). Well it was so funny at the store because just by the way me and him were acting and the fact that I had a ring on my finger she asked if we were engaged, we both just laughed and were like noooo, at least not now, haha. maybe in about 4 or 5 years, lol. I swear it feels like me and him have been together for sooo long. We just have this strong connection between us that makes our relationship 1000 times better. We went to the rec yesterday. I really didn't do much cuz I was tired and hadn't eaten so I just ran half a mile and then went to watch him play basketball. Ooohh my baby did good. He is like a natural three-point shooter. I was sitting down and this guy and gurl came to sit next to me and the guy was telling the gurl "watch out for him, he'll just pop three's like nothing, and his defense is pretty good also", i couldn't quote it exactly but it was something like that. and damn did he look good without a shirt on, whew, how I lucked out with him I don't know, but I am very very happy =) I can't wait to see his daughter. The gurl hasn't let him take her home so I haven't gotten the chance to see her but hopefully I will soon. I already have a couple of pictures of her in my room, she is absolutely beautiful.


This morning has just been crazy. I didn't want to wake up, especially since I was in my babe's arms which is always the best place to be =)so i ended up not getting up till like 6:40 and had to hurry my ass up to catch the bus. LaRhesa and I always ride the bus together now in the mornings. Well by the time I stepped outside she was like we just missed it and I was like damn it!!! Oh well, then we get to the bench to sit down and wait for the bus where the majority of all my cookies fell to the floor =( that totally sucked, then when i get to class i dropped my highlighter which I couldn't get cuz the floor is slanted and it rolled down a lil. Then of course I had to drop my phone at the end of class. You would think this was bad enough right, well then I went to the commons to get breakfast and I asked for a bacon burrito and they gave me a sausage burrito, and I asked for an orange juice and they gave my apple juice. Ugh, what a crazy morning. I can't wait to just get home and relax. I can probably get about an hour and a half of sleep cuz then I have to go to work at 2:30. I should get out at 6:00pm and then after that I am gonna pick up three of Curtis's nieces so that we can go swimming back at my apt. this is going to be a looonnnggg day. Of course though, I am looking forward to the night time =)

Okay, things are better, me and my baby are fine. I am as happy as I can be =)

I really fucked up this time and I don't know if I can make it up. I regret it more than anything. I love him sooo much and never wanted to jeapordize our relationship. I never should've made that damn phone call this morning. Something told me not to, but fuck me for not listening. I never wanted him to think about me in the wrong way. I just want him to love me as much as I love him. I do respect him and want nothing but to be with him. He is my life now, I want to spend the future with him, but now he sees me differently, all because of the stupid phone call. I don't know how to make it up to him or show him that I am still the same person. Everyday I look forward to seeing him, for him to hold me and show me how much he cares, but now he doubts my feelings for him. I love him, as crazy as it sounds especially with how soon it is, I know I do. He completes me and I don't know what to do without him. He makes everything right, how could I have been sooo stupid to fuck things up. I would do anything for him, no matter what it is, i would.

Right now I can't explain anything. All I know is that everything is just so wonderful and I am grateful for that. A part of me is scared about this coming semester. Mainly because I know I have to do good. I hate that I am confused about my major but hopefully soon I'll figure it out. I am ready for this year and for some reason I just know everything will be fine.

Something happened yesterday that I just can't help but think it's my fault. I feel absolutely horrible and never wanted it to happen. I just wish there was something I could do about it. Please God just let everything be okay.

It's amazing how when I am in your arms everything just feels a thousand times better =)

Paradise

I guess I was wrong when I said I didn't think things could get better cuz they definitely did. I decided to move into another apt and I signed my lease Wednesday. I am now living at Campus Lodge and I absolutely love it. =) I have my own room, my own bathroom, complete privacy. What more could I ask for. Friday night I went with Curtis and his niece ashley to a football game and then we went back to his sister's house. I was really nervous about meeting her but she's cool, i really like her. Curtis and Billy went out and I chilled there with Rhonda. I had a lot of fun. She has five daughters and they are all so beautiful. I enjoyed talking to them yesterday. After a while Billy and Curtis brought me over to Campus lodge and helped me get everything together. Then Curtis took me to get my stuff from Ashley's and they helped me move it into my apt. I did most of the unpacking I just gotta get everything together. I went to the party last night at Ramada Inn. I mainly just stayed with Brandy and Clorissa. There was a lot of people but I really didn't know that many. I ran into Deanna and she informed me about some things so that was cool. I had fun, but I really missed my baby so I left around 1am and me and him got something to eat and then came back and watched a movie. That was the best part of my day. I think everytime I am with him is what makes my life so good and brings me sooo much happiness. I love our relationship, i love his family, his beautiful daughter, which I haven't met but hope to really soon, and everything else about him. My sister can tell how happy I am but of course she is just like don't rush things, take it slow. but still happy for me =)

I still have a few things to do today but I am not really stressed about it. I want to relax considering classes start tomorrow. Time for the stress to come. But I am definitely ready this time. I know later on I am goin to Rhonda's house so we can hang out for a while and then we are going to bring the gurls over here to go swimming. I also have to do a lil grocery shopping. I don't have anything to eat right now. I am just goin to get a few things right now and worry about getting more later. I love how I have this constant smile on my face and how God has blessed me and my family. He has really given me the strength to get through so much. and he has blessed my family and me with love and joy!!! =)

Your presence makes my world absolutely wonderful =) !!!!

Wow, things have gotten really crazy in some parts but I am not even going to let that bother me. Usually I am a very understanding and patient person but for some reason i just don't know about this....sorry

Oh well, I spoke to my sister this morning and we talked about the wedding, relationships, and some other things. I also got to talk to my brother which was cool cuz i hadn't spoken to him in a really long time. Hopefuly he can help me out with some things. I had a wonderful time last night. Curtis and me went to the movies and then to play pool. It was fun, i love every moment with him. I seriously just feel like i am in heaven when I am around him. =) totally in cloud nine, haha. anyways, he didn't think i could play but i showed him otherwise. we are goin out again tonight which I am really looking forward to and then tomorrow we are gonna hit up the party at ramada inn. yay, so much fun. anyways i gotta go get ready for work. so many good things and lots of smiles. Thank you Lord for everything!!!!!

These days have been going by pretty fast and I prefer it that way. Things just happened to clash between me and a certain someone and she pissed me off so basically there went another friendship. the truth is though that I am the one who completely cut it off. she still wanted to be my friend and all but nah she fucked up too much. but yea that's not worth talking about. I did something today that i am really excited about and cannot wait till saturday now =) LaRhesa and me have been hanging out a lot also so that's cool. I missed her being around. I was a real bitch last year for just being the way i was. anyways i am glad she forgave me and that we are getting close again. =) I went to the mall with Kia and Ashley and did a lil shopping even thought i know i shouldn't have. oh well i did deserve a few things for all this time i've gone without shopping =) not to mention that i paid almost half my credit card yesterday so i don't want to spend money. my friends kept getting mad at me because i wouldn't buy anything but hey that's the smart thing, for me to save my money =) After doing a few errands with LaRhesa we went to Wal Mart so i could get a few things and also so i could see my babe =) that was the best part of my day. i couldn't even explain the amount of happiness i feel right now, it is so amazing. he went with his sister so i got to meet her. she was really nice. now i just have to meet his other sister. She keeps asking when I am gonna go over there but I don't know yet, it might be soon. at least i hope so!!!! it's only been like an hour and a half since i've seen him and i already miss him soooo much. Everything is just so right, i am not even gonna try to explain it cuz there isn't a way to. just know that i am extremely happy =) As for other things they called me today and said they wanted me to work for the rest of the week so that's cool. i get to see my kids again, yay!!!!! Okay well i better go. I am staying at LaRhesa's apt for these next couple of days so that's cool. lots of fun =)

I am so grateful for you being in my life!!!!! =)

A feeling Unexplainable and Wonderful

These past couple of days have been a little hectic but with the help of my baby and my friends I've been able to get through it. I feel bad that things had to go this way but hey sometimes you just gotta let things be and move on. I finally got my phone connected yesterday =) I got to have a long talk with my sister which made me feel really good. i miss her being around. i told her about curtis and about everything else and she is happy for me. i also got to talk to my mom and told her about what's been going on and she is supportive and told me to do what i think is best so i said okay. The day and night had been goin great until a conflict which caused me to want to just get out so I came over to Kia's and Ashley's dorm and stayed here. Now we are getting ready to go the mall. That should be nice. Then I have to go take care of that other stuff, such fun!!!

Other than all that I have been extremely happy. I am just completely taken by my baby and i pray that nothing takes it away. He is sooo understanding and sweet and so much more, i am the luckiest person in the world right now. =)

The beauty of love......=)

Life is great, exciting, beautiful, scary, filled with anticipation and so much more. How i can deal with it all i don't know but all I can do is pray and keep living strong!!!!

So Good

These past few days can't even be explained at least not in depth. I just know that God sent me something wonderful. In fact he sent me more then just one thing. He gave me strength, trust, and even more faith. Wonderful friends and a wonderful boyfriend. I am so grateful for everything. I don't know what I did to deserve all this but i won't even question it.

There is so much fear of losing all this. I can't help but be scared that in one second everything can be taken away. Honestly though, even with the fear being there for some reason I feel like everything will turn out perfectly. Especially when I look into his eyes. He gives me this sense of security, this feeling that lets me know he cares. I love it!!! It's so crazy how much I care about him, but hey you can't help what your emotions are. Like I always say, You just gotta let fate take it's course, what happens happens...... =)

Everything is so good and I plan to make it stay that way!!!! =)

I never would have believed it if you told me

If someone would have told me last week that I would be in a good relationship, have a job, and be doing good in everything else there is no way I would've believed it. I am for once really really happy right now. Curtis is just absolutely wonderful, me and ashley are having a blast at our apt, i got a job working with kids which is exactly what i wanted (i start on mon), i got a call from my mom and dad the other night =), i got my schedule fixed today so that's all done. I think i could mention so many more things but I am just too happy right now to think of everything. Looks like things are coming together for this semester.

I got some shocking news yesterday that really took me by surprise but i just really thought about it and made a decision. I am happy with my decision right now, i wouldn't have it any other way!!!

You took me by surprise and just completely stole my heart..... =)

Last night Curtis and Billy went over to the house to see me and Ashley and we just all hung out. It was lots of fun. Damn Curtis has a good memory he remembers every little thing I have ever told him but that is sooo cute, it just means he truly pays attention. I played him a game of speed which was pretty funny because if he won I would have had to take a shot but if I won it would be the other way around. Haha, i won =) no shot for me!!! Then he was showing me this trick and of course i couldn't figure it out so he told ashley to try it and that if the trick worked she would have to take shots, poor ashley, she had to take two =(. Then we all just listened to music and Curtis was looking at my pictures. He already took one home with him. and he just had to take my favorite one, you know the one with the halo on it. Yea well i really didn't have a choice he was gonna take it no matter what. He said his sister said i was pretty and that she thinks she's seen me before when i worked at Foleys. He's already talked to his mom about me and i was like awwhh how cute. =) I feel like I am in cloud nine, i know such a cliche, but it's the truth. He was saying himself last night how he couldn't believe how fast I got his attention and the fact that he has come to see me everyday since we've met. =) I was just like that's a good thing, hehe. I told him the same thing though. I love seeing him everyday. He calls me in the afternoon and then stops by at night and I still miss him in the mornings. All I will keep saying though is please God don't take this away from me, just let it last. I don't want to lose this. I couldn't bare it if I got my heart broken again. This morning when I woke up I was kind of in a bad mood and he could tell. He was just like why are you in a bad mood and i was like I am not I am just tired. I truly don't know what was wrong with me but I think it's because I am getting terrified of all this going away. Him leaving me, my heart getting broken, waking up.....=( I wish i wasn't scared but I can't help it. When he called me yesterday and told me he needed to tell me something and that he would be right over my heart just stopped. I started pacing back and forth, my hands were shaking, bad things were going through my head, i mean wow i was so paranoid about what he was going to tell me. i just kept thinking he was going to end it but thankfully he didn't. Although what he had to tell me was pretty shocking, the fact of the matter is, he was telling me the truth because he cares a lot about me and he wants there to be nothing but honesty between us. =) and i completely agree. A relationship without trust is not worth having. Anyways, yea so I've written a lot already so I better quit, the point was, that i am happy and completely taken away right now. =)

ITS ALL GOOD =)

All i can say is DAMN!!!! I never thought this would happen. Oh and I am saying it in a good way. Like damn this feels good. Well anyways, last night the guys came to see me and ashley and we were all just talking and hanging out. Curtis then took me outside for a nice walk and we just talked about different things. When I am around him my smile definitely never goes away, he says that's what gonna keep him around, haha =) (that works for me) OMG, this boy is sooo fine. The story of how we met is just hilarious. Everything he has done is right. I am still freaking out about that. We were talking about each other's family and he mentioned to me that his mom was like "wow this is the longest you've ever stayed here, there must be someone special keeping you around" (totally cute) I am his reason for staying, that just makes me wonder though, is this guy really for real. He has really taken my breath away though. Just when I think I've reached rock bottom something or someone always comes around. Please God don't let this go bad. I am happy right now. I find myself smiling 24-7, thinking about this guy every minute, happy, ecstatic, just every good feeling. So far we have seen each other every day since we met, i know i know we haven't even been seeing each for a long time, well not even half a week,haha, but hey it's all good. Everything is so right, i can't say that enough right now. I mean we stay up talking till like 5 in the morning about all sorts of things, we make each other laugh and smile, he makes me feel special, and his personality is just so intriguing. I hate how he can read me though. There is definitely no lying to this boy, not that i planned on doin but i am just saying. He knows what I am thinking, my deep thoughts, my feelings. How can a connection be this strong so soon. I don't understand, but maybe I am not suppose to. Maybe this is where the excitment comes into relationships. I don't know. I am not questioning anything i am just gonna let it play out. I am in for something good though, i can feel it. I am going to enjoy this and just be happy. =) and of course keep smiling....haha

I can't explain it, but it's just so mysteriously good

What a Beautiful Smile =)

Wow has the time here been good!!! I have been having so much fun lately it's crazy. Everything is just straight. Ashley and me finally started getting things for our apt and we are going to start decorating today. We can't go buy a sofa and tv till are refund checks kick in but it's been cool. My roommate is like my sister now, my life is goin good, school is fine, my family is doing real well.

Alright so heres the deal about the sooo called "love life". My smile has just been working wonders. =) First night i went out i met someone who is now tryin to hit my up from houston. I was just like damn. He was cute and all but nah I aint goin that way. Then comes the second night. I met someone else and i was completely taken away. He is just something else. I don't know what it is about him but I am gonna find out. So far he's done everything right and that's where I am like uh-uh hold up. I don't trust guys no more. He has to mess up some time right. He just has to. Every other guy I've talked to has done me wrong. Now it's just like I don't believe in good guys no more. All they usually want is one thing. I mean since day one he has just done and said everything right damn he got me curious. I am just expecting something to go wrong. Is that bad? I told him though, it's really hard for me to trust guys and I am extrememly scared of getting hurt. but hey, so far it's goin good. These past few days its been goin real well. It's all good but I aint gonna believe it's staying that way, at least not for now. Let's see if this guy is for real or not. He's got my attention so far.....

I love being complimented on my smile though, that just makes my day. =)

Time to say goodbye to the past. you did me wrong and I want nothing to do with you

The Comforts of Being Back =)

We got into College Station around 10pm last night, i know it took forever to get here, then we went to go get some groceries, and then it was back to the apt. My mom really helped me out a lot. I don't know what I would've done without her. =) My dad and brother helped by unloading everything and just by being there. It felt good to see my brother again. I really have missed him.

Anyways, last night after grocery shoppin my parents and brother had to hit the road. It was going to take them three hours to get to victoria, half an hour to get to Cuero, and then 3 hours to get back to Laredo. DAMN, that's a lot of driving. I hope everything went good. I won't get to talk to them till later on. =( It's okay though, just two weeks from getting my cell back on. =)Okay well it was about midnight and the place really needed to be cleaned so me and Ashley decided to go to Wal-Mart and by some cleanin stuff. It was a lot of fun. I ran into Jarrett and met some new guys. They were cool. They were all there working the late shift. Looks like I got a couple of games i gotta do when school starts again =P (Who am i kidding i know i can't beat those guys in basketball but we'll see, lol)

Alright well, i just finished taking my medical terminology exam. I think I did pretty well. I know for sure I didn't fail so that's cool. I am hoping for that A or B though, I guess I just gotta wait and see. He said i should have the grade in a couple of weeks, damn that's a long time. Oh well i can wait. I'll get to finish up my course work for my other class next week. so i am happy about that. Okay time to go do some errands, clean up, and then PARTY!!!!!. Drinkin, dancing, clubbin, ooh the joy of everything =p and the joy of being in my own apt with my homegurl, damn life is pretty good right now!!!!!

The Day Is Finally Coming

Wow, it's finally goin to happen. I will be leaving tomorrow morning to head back to good ole CS. I feel like I have been waiting for this day forever. The funny thing is as anxious as i've been there was a short moment today where I really wasn't sure if i was ready to go. I mean I am gonna hate being away from my family again. It's basically Laredo that I hate. or dislike, whatever. But my family i do cherish. I wish they lived closer. Maybe within these couple of years my parents will actually move close to CS, they've thought about it so who knows.

Tomorrow i will be in CS. With my best friend. Enjoying every moment!!!!! and you know how much fun i have when me and ashley get into those crazy conversations, haha, definite crazyness!!! but lot's of fun....alright then, i am happy, i am ready, i got this!!!! This weekend will be nothing but good times.

oh yea, and one more thing i won't have internet access for a while so sadly i can't post anything or any of the excitement, sorry. the apt. number is posted on facebook for my friends to see so if you need me just call. and my cell phone won't be connected till about the 21st so that still sux, but i aint stressin. okay, i need stop typing, my momma is gonna wake me up at 7am. ME, 7 AM, AHHHHHHH, what are you kidding me!!!!! but yea don't have a choice gotta get up and finish doin stuff....Goodnight and sweet dreams. Take care everyone, muuuaaahh!!! =) ahh, now i can breathe.......

Damn this weekend went by fast. Maybe cuz I kept myself pretty busy and I have been falling asleep early. =) I spent most of my time with my nephew yesterday, he's already gettin sad that i am leaving. Wow, just four more days, well technically three because we are leaving first thing thursday morning. =) I got three days to pack, study and do stuff for the wedding. Then i already said how thursday was gonna be, and finally friday will come. I have to take my final at 2:00pm on friday but night time will be good. =) I already got plans with some friends for both that night and saturday. I can't wait!!!!!

Today has been aight. I woke up and just relaxed for a while, did some work, and then went with my sis downtown to buy some things. We did a lil bit of shopping so that was cool. Now i am just here. I enjoyed some GREAT home made food a while ago. Man i am gonna miss my parents food =( Now i am gonna get ready to go play some basketball in while. Now that will make my day for sure. I did soooo good last sunday i impressed myself. =) Lets hope i have another great day!!!

Everything is goin by smoothly....

Yesterday was a blast. I really had fun at seaworld. Especially seeing the dolphins, they were so beautiful. All the animals were. I can't believe how smart they are. Shamu got me completely soaked but he was so cute. The rides were a lot of fun too. Everything was just amazing. I definitely have to go again. =) I was also glad that I got to spend the day with my sister and my nephew. Looks like I've gotten the chance to spend a day with all of my family before I leave.

I think I will spend the day here at home. My daddy went to the Valley with my uncle to go visit the church. He'll be home tonight. My mom is leaving around 4:30 to Hebbronville. she'll be gone for the whole weekend =( I know she'll have fun i just really wanted to spend time with her everyday before i left. Oh well, we'll have mon, tue, and wednesday to spend time with each other. Thursday will just be crazy, driving, unpacking, running errands, and so much more. My sister gets out of work today at three so that's cool. Hopefully she doesn't have to do anything and we can just chill at home. Mayeb she'll be in a good mood and help me pack =)

Well today was full of interesting conversations. I really had a good time. I need to go to bed though cuz i gotta wake up at 7am. My sister and me are taking my nephew to seaworld. i have never been there so it will be fun for me too. Things are really looking good for when i get back to CS. Thank God for letting everything get together. Just one week away. Time shall fly by....


You think i forgot so easily, truth is I didn't.